Monday Positives
And We're Off!

Whiney Wednesday

Sometimes when I'm doing my Positives on Mondays - which I usually forget, but this week remembered which also helped me remember I'd been meaning to do this - I have to struggle to find something positive to say. Not that there aren't tons of positive things in my life, but it's just that the things I want to complain about keep trying to butt in. So, I decided to give my complaints a day of their own and call it Whiney Wednesday. Cheers!

1. My feet hurt. Really bad! It's not my shoes - I wear nice flat dress shoes with Dr. Scholl's gel inserts in them or sneakers to work. I'm not sure what it is - it's like the bottom of my heel is bruised or something. It's been going on for months now. Also sometimes the pain will shoot up my Achilles tendon. If I sit for too long then get up, I have to shuffle along like an old fart, my feet hurt so dang bad! It's very, very annoying.

2. I hate the time change! Yeah I know we got an extra hour of sleep that Sunday and all, but my body has had a hard time adjusting to the change. I'm hungry at weird times, tired at weird times, and I've been waking up at 4 a.m. a bit more regularly than I'd like. Grr.

3. I'm so dang tired! All the time tired! Dragging around work like a zombie tired. Falling asleep on the bus tired. Going to bed at 9 p.m. tired! It's pathetic, and I can't figure out why. Am I really so much more active at this job than I was at the last one that I'm basically wearing myself out every day? I can't imagine that's it, but I can't think of what else it could be.

4.  While my job is getting easier, and therefore better, I'm still struggling with it. I'm not sure if it's because I still feel so rotten about (and am still questioning everything about) losing the other one that I just get into the groove of this one. It's like I'm afraid to get too attached to anyone or anything here because in an instant it could all be taken away. I hate feeling so insecure, particularly since I'd been feeling so sure and comfortable and happy before. Like, everything was under control, my future was set, my retirement was neatly planned out, I looked forward to going to work each and every day (if not for the work itself but at least for the super cool people I thought of as friends if not family), and then suddenly I was back to square one, which at almost-40 really sucks. I'm sure I'll get over it eventually (perhaps after my six-month probationary period is over and I actually have the job). But, in the meantime I worry.  All the freakin' time. 

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