this little life of mine

9/11

 
It may have happened 11 years ago, but not only will I never forget  September 11, 2001, I think remembering that day will always break my heart.

30

Today is the 30th Anniversary of Mount St. Helens' eruption, and I decided to repost the piece I wrote for my memoir writing class in 2004 about that day, May 18, 1980. Enjoy!

"Oh, my God!"

My mom’s exclamation drew my attention away from the box of plastic containers I was sorting. We were spring cleaning the garage, and I welcomed the distraction from my tedious task.

"What is it?" I asked. "Did you find the mother of all spiders? If so, I don’t think I want to know about it."

"No," my mom said. "If I’d uncovered a big spider, I would’ve done more than just say 'Oh, my God!'"

I laughed. "Alright, so what is it?"

My mom was standing in front of the white metal cabinet near the washer and dryer; the cabinet where we kept our tools, paint and other miscellaneous home repair items. When she turned, I saw the glass jar in her hand. My jaw dropped.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"It sure is."

"I can't believe we still have this!" I took the jar from her, closely examining its contents. It once contained instant coffee with sparkling flavor crystals, but was now filled with a fine, grey ash. "Man, this takes me back. I'll never forget that day . . ."

*    *    *

The morning of May 18, 1980 dawned bright and clear. The sunshine and blue sky promised another beautiful spring day in the eastern Washington farming community of Colfax. Chirping birds woke me only a few minutes before the sound of lawnmowers resounded through the neighborhood. It was still early – not even 8:00 a.m. - but I knew I’d never get to sleep in now that the Lawn Mower Symphony had begun, so I rose, dressed in jean shorts and a tee-shirt, and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. The back door was open, so I stepped outside to take in the morning air.  I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful day; a day to take a hike, or have a picnic, or ride a bike. I took a deep breath and sucked the fresh, spring air into my lungs, and exhaled dramatically. Then I went back inside and settled myself in front of the television like any self-respecting fourteen-year-old girl who couldn’t sleep in on a Sunday morning.

As I sat flipping through the television channels, I thought about the oral book report I still had to work on for the next day, the math test on Wednesday I should study for, a new piece to learn for band, and the Jr. High Track Meet on Thursday, where I would be doing the long jump for the first time. But it was Sunday, and I didn't want to think about any of that. Besides, my grandparents were driving over from East Wenatchee, and I wanted to spend the day with them.

It was a little after nine a.m. when the blue screen with the initials EBS popped up on the TV, accompanied by the familiar steady tone. At first I didn't think anything of it - after all, I'd grown up with the periodic interruptions from the Emergency Broadcast System, that annoying droning sound which was always followed by the calm, reassuring announcement "This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. The broadcasters of your area in voluntary cooperation with . . ."  Blah, blah, blah.

But wait. They did it wrong, didn't they? They forgot to air the first part; the part that goes: "This is a test. This station is conducting a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test." Surely I didn't just miss it. They must've forgotten to air it.

The blue screen with the pale letters disappeared a few seconds after the tone ended, and the McNeil/Leher Report resumed. So, what did that mean? I wondered. Was it a test and someone messed up? Or, was it an actual emergency, and they didn't know how to run the EBS?

After a few minutes with no more interruptions or announcements, or any indication that anything was wrong, I settled back down into the recliner, and continued contemplating my day. My grandparents were coming for a visit, and would arrive around lunchtime. I should try to get some studying done before they arrive, so I can visit with them without the homework hanging over my head. I should, but I probably wouldn't. I wanted to lay out and start working on my tan. The streaky orange stripes from the QT tanning lotion I'd tried over the winter had finally faded, and since the weather was so nice, there was no reason not to get a real tan. I should call my friend Stephanie, and see what she's up to . . .

Suddenly, the EBS tone came on again - and again without the familiar, "this is a test" statement. My heart jumped. 'Crap!' I thought. 'Something's wrong. Something's really wrong! If someone is just screwing around with this thing, it's not funny!'  When the tone ended, the news came on, and a grim-looking reporter gave us the news: something bad had happened. Something that scientists kept saying was going to happen, but no one believed them. It was too outrageous. It couldn’t possibly happen. But it had: after almost two months of rumblings, and grumblings, the occasional belch of ash and smoke, and the growing bulge on its side, Washington State's most famous volcano, Mount St. Helens, erupted.

They showed dramatic pictures of the eruption on the news. The side of the mountain where the bulge had been growing blew out, a huge dark grey cloud of smoke and ash shot into the air, rose into the atmosphere, and, according to the news anchor, was moving. Towards us. 

Experts quickly came on the air to tell us what to do. They recommended we cut our lawns as short as possible. If we got any ash fall, short grass would be easier to clean up. They told us to move outdoor furniture inside, and put our cars in the garage, or cover them up. They told us to stay inside once the ash fell. Don't go outside! Not for any reason! Don't breath in the ash! Wear a mask or use a damp handkerchief to cover your face! Keep your pets indoors as much as possible!

The ash cloud was expected to reach Spokane, which lay 63 miles north of us, around noon, so we didn't have much time to get stuff done. Dad started mowing the lawn, and mom moved the hammock and lawn chairs from the deck to the garage. There was nothing for me to do, so I put on my sneakers and headed down to the track by the school, just a few blocks away. I thought I'd better practice my long jumps now, just in case we didn't get any practice time in before Thursday's meet.

As I walked down to the track, I couldn't get over what a beautiful day it was – so fresh and new and peaceful and still. I couldn't believe something so bad had happened and not that far away from us, either. I thought about the people who lived and worked on the mountain – residents, loggers, tourists, rangers and scientists. Everyone had been evacuated, but there were still scientists monitoring the mountain, residents wanting to get back to their homes to gather belongings, tourists wanting to see the spectacle, and police securing the "Red Zone," the area where the blast would be the most devastating.

And, there was one old man, Harry Truman, who wouldn't evacuate.  He'd become quite famous for his emphatic refusal to leave his cabin by Spirit Lake, just at the foot of the mountain, or abandon his belongings or his cats. His was a nice, almost lighthearted story in the midst of the gloom and doom predicted by the scientists. A reporter near the scene of the devastation said Harry's house was right in the line of the mud and rock flow, and it was very likely he was dead. It was hard to believe; Harry had just been on the news two nights ago.  But, in truth, this whole situation was hard to believe. It was hard to believe that in just a few hours, a huge black cloud would block out the sun, and dump ash, and rocks, and whatever else came out of the volcano on top of us. Hard to believe things would ever return to normal.

The track was quiet, as was the adjacent Schmuck Park, City Pool and tennis courts. I practiced a few jumps. I looked up at the sky every few minutes expecting to see The End of the World coming over the tops of the pretty, spring-green hills. But each time I looked, the sky was still blue, dotted with a few small, puffy white clouds, the hills were still green, and the birds were still singing. I ran around the track a few times, mostly to expel my nervous energy, then headed home to wait. Dad had finished mowing the lawn to golf-course height, and mom had gotten all our outdoor furniture stored away in the garage. I went around and checked that all the windows were shut. We kept the TV on the whole time, the news showed the ash cloud getting closer and closer to us. There were a few minutes when we thought it might miss us, but then the wind shifted, and the cloud once again headed our way.

My grandparents arrived safely just before noon. "There's quite a thunderstorm coming," my grandfather said. "We outran it, but just barely."

"That's no thunderstorm, Bud," my dad told him. "Didn't you hear? Mount St. Helens blew this morning. What you saw was the ash cloud. Looks like you guys got here just in time!"

My dad was right: the cloud arrived just about twenty minutes later. As darkness fell, the birds stopped singing and the street lights came on. The sky was black - pitch black - like the night sky but without a moon or any stars. And, it was quiet - no cars driving by, no people sitting and talking on their porches, or walking down the sidewalk. No dogs barking, no kids playing. Nothing. The four of us stood in front of the sliding glass doors off the kitchen, and watched nighttime come in the middle of the day.

When the ash began to fall it looked like snowflakes sparkling in the streetlights; dirty, grey snowflakes that didn't melt when they hit the ground. It piled up about an inch thick on the deck, the roof, the lawn, and my grandparent's car, which was parked on the street in front of our house.  We huddled around the TV, watching the eerie pictures of a dark, ash covered ghost town that was once the big, bustling city of Spokane. All modes of transportation were halted, the news said: cars, buses, trains, planes - all stopped because of the ash. It was a creepy sight. I felt like we were watching a horror movie, not looking at live news pictures.

Once the cloud passed and the ash stopped falling, there was the problem of what to do with it? The city used snow plows to clear it off the roads as much as possible, but the wind always blew it back. We shoveled it off the sidewalks in front of our homes, and tried to wash it off our lawns, but it kept coming back; soaking into the soil only to surface again days later. People climbed on their rooftops to wash the ash off, and gently tried to brush the fine but abrasive material off their cars. Many engines were damaged by the ash in the air, and everyone was worried about the health problems we might have in the future. As a preventative measure, we wore masks whenever we went outside.

The early morning eruption of Mount St. Helens on May 18, 1980 effectively ended the school year. The buses weren't able to go out into the country to pick up the farm kids, and with only a few weeks remaining, it was decided to just end the school year. I never had to do my oral book report, take the math test, learn the band piece or participate in the track meet. I got pretty lucky on all counts but the track meet – I had a shot at a respectable jump, and now I'd never get the chance to show my stuff. Several weeks later, my classmates and I returned to school for a half day to clean out our desks and lockers, turn in our textbooks, and sign each other's yearbooks, then that was it. Eighth grade was over. We said goodbye to Jr. High, and looked forward to saying hello to High School in the fall.

*    *    *

I held the glass jar full of Mount St. Helens ash, my mouth agape. "It is so cool we still have this!"

"Yeah," my mom said. "Do you remember when we went out and scooped it up off the grass with a spoon?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, amazed that I actually did remember: my dad was up on the roof, spraying the ash off with the hose, my grandparents were washing off their car as carefully as possible, and my mom and I were in the front yard filling an old Folgers jar with volcanic ash.

We kept that jar under the sink in the kitchen, and mom brought it with her when she moved to California. It's been sitting in our garage for the past six years. Since I hadn't seen that jar in ages, I thought it had been lost, or left behind. I was actually glad to see it. Sure we still have the light blue "I Survived Mount St. Helens" T-shirts, and the small pottery vase an artisan made from the volcanic ash, but our little jar of ash is more important than those – it came from our very own yard the morning after the eruption. It's our own personal piece of a historical experience, an odd but still special souvenir.

The vase.



Our Jar of Ash.
 





That white, powdery stuff on the ground, the deck and the hills behind our house? That's the ash. Gah! There was a ton of it, and it took forever to get rid of!
 



In fact, I believe it's still out there, along the side of the highway, stuck in nooks and crannies in the hills ... that stuff will probably never go away! 

Holidailies: Nutcracker Portrait

Just a simple picture for today's Holidailies entry. Enjoy!

Thirteen Things on My Wish List

I got the idea to do a Wish List themed Thursday Thirteen from Jennifer. Thanks, Jen!

1. An iPod touch. Yes, I have two iPods already, one of which can play TV shows, but the touch is shiny and new and it plays games! Games, people!

2. A shiny new red reel mower w/ grass catcher.

3. This Citizen Echo watch: Riva Diamond Chronograph.

4. A 2009 Green Bay Packers calendar.

5. A Canon SLR digital camera with a telephoto lens attachment.

6. A pink Sony Vaio laptop computer.

7. A funky laptop bag.

8. A new versa climber for the gym.

9. A pink Townie bike with a basket on front and a bell.

10. A large red suitcase with rollers.

11. A pair of funky Wellies.

12. This shearling coat.

13. A complete backyard makeover.

(Also used as an entry for Holidailies.)

The Annual Christmas Quiz

 

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to you......Tis the Season to be NICE!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Gift bags. I can’t wrap a present to save my life!
2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. Real trees are nice and all, but trying to keep them alive and cleaning up all the dropped needles is too much of a pain.
3. When do you put up the tree? First weekend in December.
5. Do you like eggnog? Love it! Don’t forget a dash of ground nutmeg on top!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? The Sunshine Family and their camper.
7. Hardest person to buy for? My grandmother – she always says she doesn’t want anything, but boy does she get upset if that’s what she gets!
8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom because she doesn’t want anything and she means it!
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes!
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. I just can’t do the e-mail Christmas card yet. It seems too impersonal!
11.Worst Christmas gift you ever received? A very oversized bright blue sweatshirt with a cutsie teddy bear appliqué.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It’s a Wonderful Life. Best movie EVER MADE!! My mom and I watch it every year on Christmas Eve.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Um, right about now.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No, if I receive something I don’t like or can’t use, I give it to Goodwill.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Gingerbread cookies (with eggnog)!
16. Lights on the tree? Oh yes, absolutely! What’s a Christmas tree without any lights?!?
17. Favorite Christmas song? Joy to the World ( I really like the version by Jump 5).
18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay at home (well, travel up the road to either my grandparents or uncle’s place, but stay in town!).
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Prancer, Donner, Vixen, Blitzen, Dancer, Comet, Cupid and Rudolph!
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A multi-coloured star.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? I always got to open one present on Christmas Eve and saved the rest for the next morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? All the stress and worry turns usually nice, normal people into assholes.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? All the handmade ornaments my mom has made over the years, and the Betsey Clarke ornaments from my Aunt Alice.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Ham (but I’m pretty sure we’re getting turkey this year).
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? A new suitcase.

Holidailies Entry #3

... is up here. I'm still behind, but hope to catch up soon!

Holidailies 2008

 

Yes, it's that time of year again! Holidailies started last Friday, and naturally I was late getting my first entry up! I know it was a stupid idea to revive my old online journal - I should've just used this blog. It's so much easier to update here - heck I can do it over the phone! Still, I made the committment, so I'm suck with it.

There are two entries up so far: December 5th and December 7th. I have one written for today as well, but can't post it to Holidailies yet. It'll probably be up later this evening.

A New Use for an Old Crock Pot

And there's a gardening update here. Happy Sunday!

Day Off

Today mom and I took a break and headed off to the beach. We parked at the San Simeon State Park Leffinwell Landing, and walked along the boardwalk enjoying the gorgeous views and beautiful day! Journal entry and a few pictures here; the rest of the set can be seen here.

Update List

13 Random Update-type Things

1. You know how when you come back from a fantastic vacation - like, oh, say, Hawai'i! - a few days later you fall into a deep melancholy? Yeah? That's exactly what happened to me when I got back from the Big Island. The past couple of weeks I've been depressed and frustrated and quick to anger. I hate it, but what can I do? I tried drinking, but that only made it worse. Kidding. Maybe. Luckily I spent last weekend in Fresno with my BFF Jewel, who was in town visiting her folks. I had a great time hanging out with her, visiting with her parents and older brother, and enjoying a scrumptous BBQ pork loin prepared by her dad!Sunday we went Power Shopping at Catherine's, Avenue, Lane Bryant and Torrid, and indulged in traditional and crab cake eggs Benedict at Mimi's Cafe (I got the crab cake one, Jewel got the regular one, and we shared them). There may or may not have been Weinerschnitzel chili cheese dog/burger involved, but I don't admit to anything.

2. Speaking of Hawai'i, I am still working on the final couple of journal entries about that fabulous trip, but the first three are up here, here and here. Enjoy! I still have to write about the evening at the Ranch and touring the Palace and Hawai'i's first Christian church, checking out St. Paul's Catholic Church and an nearby alter. I have no idea when I'll get those entries, done, but I promise you I will.

3. Also, the garden is growing by leaps and bounds! We've already harvested three green bell peppers and about four cucumbers - all of which were delicious, by the way! The tomatoes are coming on, and we have some zucchinis, but they don't seem to be thriving; they're kinda withering on the vine, so to speak. I think they might need to be pollenated. Also, the honeydew have tons of blossoms, but nothing that even remotely resembes a melon. Yet.

4. A couple weeks ago, mom and I went to the Atascadero Wine Festival, then I toured the Charles Paddock Zoo while she rested in the shade. It was a fun in-town escape from our usual weekend rut of walking up to the cafe formerly known at Carlene's for coffee and breakfast, getting groceries, buying plants for the garden, playing on the internet, napping all afternoon, cooking dinner, then going to bed. I plan to break the rut as much as possible this summer by planning a day trip to Santa Margarita Lake, going to Farmer's Market in Paso one Saturday, walking on the boardwalk along Moonstone Beach near Cambria and the newly completed one that runs from Pismo Beach to Grover Beach, and visiting Cayucos and Morro Bay just for the heck of it.

5. I know there's been a lot of talk about that new diet drug alli. Well, lemming that I am, I bought some. And, now, with all the bad press and scary news about it*, I'm terrified to try it. And, yet, I will. Because I bought it, and I'm too embarrassed to try to return it. So, I spent yesterday cleaning out the fridge, freezer and pantry in anticipation of starting alli - no more creamy, high-fat salad dressings (Farewell Lighthouse Thousand Island and Bleu Cheese! How I loved thee!), no more mayo (maybe light or fat free, but I'll have to look into it), no more regular Bumble Bee Tuna Salad kits, no more regular ice cream, and perhaps maybe no more Lean Pockets. I'm not sure. I'm also not sure about cooking with olive oil, or eating salmon or avacados. All I know is I can't eat any fat while taking alli, or whatever I've eaten will suddenly and horribly whoosh out of my body like a six-year-old shooting out of a water park slide. I'm planning on taking my first alli pill this Saturday. I figure the weekend will be a safe time to try it, as I will be home, and very close to a bathroom!

6. Yesterday I also cleaned out my closet to make room for all the fun new stuff I bought in Fresno: two pair of dressy capri pants, one pair of dressy bermuda shorts, and one white skirt. Yes, I bought a skirt (in a size 16, y'all!). I also bought two dresses. I've been feeling girlie lately, I guess. I also got a red tank top and brown cropped wrap cardigan to go with the bermuda shorts, and a white summer sweater to go with one of the dressy capri pants. I already have a couple tank tops that will match the colours in the pants, so I didn't need to buy anything new. I got a few black and white tops, too. I've seen a lot of black and white stuff lately, and really like it. I ended up getting two tops at Avenue (to go with the skirt, also from Avenue), three at Torrid (actually one, but I'm counting the other two I purchased on line not too long ago but long enought that I totally forgot about them) and the white sweater at Lanie B. Pretty much everything else is in combinations of my usual camoflaging earth tones - tan, brown, green, etc. The black and white is kind-of a bold move for me, but I'm excited to start wearing my new stuff!

7. I have not yet discussed wth TrainerDude about adding a Friday evening work out, but I plan to soon. He's hinted at it a couple times, so I don't think it'll be a schedulling conflict with him. I really hate to give up my Friday evening, though - that's when I get my mani/pedis, haircuts, etc. - but I really think I need that extra day of intense, physical, there's-no-wimping-out-of-this-work-out to jump start my fitness routine. I'm feeling a bit in a rut about it, and though I've lost weight, I think I can do better. I also plan to book lap times in the pool on Tuesdays and Thursdays (when I'm not mowing the lawn) for some different cardio. And also because I realized when I was in Hawai'i that my once-mad swimming skillz have faded with time. And, probably with the weight gain, too.

8. Last night I had a very strange, creepy crank phone call. Some guy called up, asked for me by name (though not by the name I go by now; the one that everyone except immidiate family and a very few friends call me, though they know I go by this other name now, but old habits die hard, and all that, so he obviously doesn't - or can't possibly - actually KNOW me), then when I asked who was calling, told me to guess. It's nearly 9:30 on a weeknight and I have to get up early to catch the bus to work, and this (pardon my French) asshole wants to play guessing games on the God-damn phone? Screw that! I told him no, I'm not guessing, and asked again who was calling. Once again he said, "Guess." I said, "I don't play guessing games." He didn't reply for about five seconds, so I hung up. I'm sure it was a totally random crank call, but I can't help being freaked out by it. I don't know very many men, and none of the ones I do know would call me up late at night and mess around with my head. At least I HOPE they wouldn't. I did not sleep well last night worrying that Phone Stalker might call again, or worse, actually be outside my damn house! Yes, I know it's totally unreasonable to be afraid like that, but it was just freaky, creepy and weird, and it's going to take me a couple of days for me to recover.

9. I'm still taking pictures of the lavender in the back yard. I'm not sure why I'm so fascinated with it, but I've been taking pictures all year and playing with them in both picnik and dumpr - my two fave photographic playgrounds. Why did I spend so much dang money on Photoshop? Why oh why? Both of these sites are ten times easier to use and they're free (so far)! Here's a couple examples of my work; the first manipulated in picnik, the other using dumpr:

10. And speaking of pictures, I finally got some Hawai'i shots printed up and clipped on the Art Board:

11. On the work front, things will be changing rather dramatically as The Kenyan is returning to his home country this weekend. For six. months. I'm trying not to be too freaked about it, because we are getting a temp (who is really super good, from what I hear), but I do feel a bit stressed about it, and just hope everything works out okay. I think I need to do some yoga breathing or something to calm down.

12. On a happier note, we basically have two Fridays this week, as we got off yesterday for 4th of July, so Tuesday felt like a Friday, then tomorrow we get our regularly-scheudled Friday! Fun, but confusing, because Tuesday felt like Friday, yesterday felt like Saturday, and today feels like Monday! I just hope I remembered to do everything I was supposed to do on THURSDAY!!

13. I'm running out of updates, so how 'bout another picture? These are some plumeria flowers from Hawai'i. Cheers!

 

* Links via Elastic Waist.